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wish, pt. 1

by starsregardless

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1.
ice land 02:23
nothing by the frost on my fingers is carried home could’ve had a more productive day from bed eager to get back out there marching sun ain’t marching so far these days not yet used to this shadowless place ice hangs from my sleeping breath night holds a curtain up air promising nothing nothing but a bundle of sticks and twigs is left to burn could’ve let the whole house up for warmth easier done than said lakes to the south carry birds’ cries across the frozen ground new life becoming predator and prey day becoming night becoming day
2.
in fear of walking too far we turn and look for the path we took not even the smoke of the house is visible in this growth farther down, somewhere, stands a clearing we’d seen it from the window it’d be nice to house the horse we found but I can’t see it here even though I know it’s there
3.
listener 04:17
age drives my thoughts to boring places seasons my words with courtesy my hands shake when they're not making something my nose yearns for wood smoke and rotting leaves let me listen i'd like to be a listener to mammals in the woods over engines on the roads let me listen the knots in my shoulders coil like vines around a tree my teeth grind from keeping quiet my head yells words that my tongue shan't repeat because my light lives in a jar on a string let me listen i'd like to be a listener to chitters in the nighttime over screeches in the park let me listen it doesn't have to be loud sometimes the quiet noises are the most profound it doesn't even need to make sound the sun could talk until my ears fell off let me listen i'd like to be a listener i'd like to hear your voice
4.
dream land 02:24
here they all act different then i'm used to wasps gather in towers with arms reaching over battlements of moose and bear creaking and crying in the wind unfamiliar i'd like to know you better perched on the shoulders of a bobcat tree a birchling takes its first flight and flutters down avoids a herd of grazing oaks passing through unfamiliar i'd like to know you better hair leaves and beetles mat the forest floor not a birdsong to be heard the wails of wood and photosynthetic beings fill the air with unfamiliar singing unfamiliar i'd like to know you better
5.
when i grow up i want to be an oak tree with bark as thick as armor and a sprawling canopy when i grow up i want to be a tiny snake burrowed in the soil until the spring awakes i want to be everything i want to breathe underwater i want to fly above the ground i want to see into the darkness when you trample through the bushes i want to be trodden on i want my leaves to make my breakfast when the sun is on i want to be everything once i die i will come back as worm poop and mushroom food slow and steady i will find a place as part of everything
6.
found spring broken we brought it inside and we warmed it washed it left it by the window to dry but it snuck out lifted the latch and it slipped out limping trail through the snow gone now but likely to return
7.
what we lost 02:23
we thought we knew how the weather worked when it could be stern, or kind to us we had it all written down, but the books are gone since lightning took the house we tried to explain it away, and it worked for awhile until the winter came charging there is no fire we can fuel that can warm us deep enough to release the things we don’t got i can’t begin to name what we lost inside it’s cold and dark and bare the walls reflect moonlight but that should be my tv there
8.
bright land 02:03
my face is wet from the fog in the morning i think i swallowed spiders in my sleep reaching down from space a blue sky filters through can i get an amen? underneath the slowly passing sun larks and finches flicker old growth sheltering and testing the strength of uninitiated youth some day i'll die some day the sunlight won't thrill me unplanned end of the walk i took naked body, face in the air looking up maybe for the last time i hope i can return before i'm dead gone off into the wild bright land hoping for a predator to find me to take my flesh as food
9.
wish 01:53
there is not a place that i call mine there is not a door with a hole where i sleep there is not a bridge to the river where i get my water there is not a path lined with fallen trees there is only a wish
10.
green land 03:51
something called my name looking out i see nothing everything around don't have a mouth everyone don't care what i'm called pines shudder when i knock on their hides in the distance i hear it echo nosing up over hills into my ears groaning over fallen trunks, grinding against resting rocks landing on the branches above again i heard the label my parents gave northward i turned my head and walked the toes of the mountains wiggled as i approached sleeping giants in this green land know me

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released February 28, 2013

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starsregardless Knoxville, Tennessee

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